i am 16 hours away from leaving for my second year in college...woot. barely scrammed past last time, and here i go, trying again. but for what purpose? i shouldnt whine. my father is a veteran so i got his college money, which gives me a great deal of benefits, like 75% of tuition paid, 500$ a sem for books, and 637 some odd dollars a month for food and housing. its nice. or it would be nice, if i were interested. maybe that makes me conceited? o.O ungrateful? or maybe just stupid. but i have no desire to go through the motions simply because its what we kids are supposed to do, or its good or me, gets me a job. (ha, who needs that?) what i really want to do is to go to a vocational school for bartending, move to boston, bartend and continue my writing. and i really need an agent though, i am published... (here is where i promote myself by saying i have a novel out. its called rade, and you can find it on barnesandnoble.com, amazon.com, or rosedogbookstore.com. also if you type in my name, tess warner, on google, my book is number 6, oh yeah!) anyway, back to the emo rant. i just dont think i need an english degree to write, and while i love love love psych, my mental incompetency disallows me to be something amazing in that field. maybe when im older i would go back to take some psych classes, but currently...i just dont feel as though college is where i should be, i love the idea of it. being away from friends, family, memories, enemies, being mostly independent, coming and going as you please, no fears. i love my shitty job there because of the power i have. but i think i can get that kinda stuff anywhere. so what should i do? my parents kicked ass for this gi bill to pay for my shit, its good for my 'future', but then again, i have no real passion or desire to be here. i dont wanna be a failure by dropping or failing out but i really dont wanna be miserable for another 3 or more years trying to see the freaking light at the end of the tunnel which tells me there was a purpose to this whole spiel. sounds unlikley.